ARE BOYS SEXUALLY ABUSED? PART II
HOW BOYS ARE SEXUALLY ABUSED
There is hardly any doubt that boys are sexually abused but the question we have long avoided is how boys are sexually abused. The knowledge of this will help us tell apart male sexual abuse cases and those that are not. In this article, we would learn who the abusers are and how boys are sexually abused.
According to statistics on the internet, it is clear that a greater percentage of abusers are well-known and trusted caregivers, relatives or those in higher positions of authority. Here’s a rundown on the categories of abusers: parents, nannies, relatives, siblings, teachers, bullies and other paedophiles. Besides, remember that everyone but you is a suspect: a potential abuser. Boys can be sexually abused by these groups of people through manipulative means such as coercion, persuasion, and exploitation of their ignorance and innocence.
The manipulative means becomes quite effective because these aforementioned categories of abusers, most times, are older than the victims. Cowed and intimidated by their bigger nature, the boys feel inferior to them. It is common for children to be susceptible to those whom they regard as elders. This natural susceptibility creates room for the abusers to prey on boys’ innocence with threats or force either physically or mentally. Such statements as, ‘If you scream, I will report you;’ ‘One more word and I’ll let your secrets out;’ ‘If you refuse to lie with me, I’ll shout “Rape! Rape!” at the top of my voice;’ or even such scarier ones as, ‘A word about this to anyone and I’ll slit your throat or pull the trigger,’ are psychologically manipulative words in situations like this. Other threats could take similar forms depending on the category of the abuser. In those moments, fear is the driving force in the mind of the victim. Of course, life is too precious to be traded for a ‘mere’ abuse. Almost anyone found in that situation would helplessly choose silence over the threats posed at them.
Other soothing persuasions could be through sweet talks, sugar-coated words, seductive and alluring language such as: ‘Boy, come on, let me touch and play with your thing;’ ‘When I suck it you’ll enjoy it;’ ‘Could you rub my hole?’ ‘Could you squeeze my boobs and suck them?’ ‘Come and suck breast;’ etc. These words trick boys’ conscience. It is indeed very easy for boys to yield to these requests, especially if the requests come from loved ones and those around them. In such cases, the battle of whether to or not to give in has been overcome by love or fear: love for the individual, love for their reputation, fear of letting secrets out, fear of being punished, among others.
To cap it all, ignorance is a principal factor in cases of male child sexual abuse. Ignorance abounds in the minds of children and ‘we’ have helped fuel it. If only we taught the boys what constitutes sexual abuse, they would most likely not give in to such an act or they would know how to react in time for their safety. For instance, if a child does not know about fire, it would take and treat fire as a toy and a play ‘object’ until it is burnt severely and left to deal with the scars that follow. This illustration clearly points out the dangers of ignorance. With the established fact that children are, in their nature, ignorant of certain things, we understand that ‘predators’ would not trade for another thing the slightest chance to prey on the ignorance and innocence of boys. At the other end of the spectrum, a boy may be abused because he does not know how to save himself. While we expect these boys to think wisely, we should understand that if they are not well grounded with quality information, they cannot help themselves out. The saddest part is that until ignorance is replaced with knowledge, boys may never speak up or become proactive unless the abuse is uncovered by another fellow. Ignorance kills.
So, what really constitutes male sexual abuse?
Fondling with the male genitals of the child to inflict pain or to derive pleasure by whomever
Sucking the genitals or the areas around them by whomever
Massaging parts of the male body to arouse sexual feelings by whomever
Touching or talking about the male body in an inappropriate manner
Talking about inappropriate sexual topics
Making a child give them sexual pleasure
It is fairly certain now that boys are sexually abused because of threats, persuasion, ignorance and innocence. Every human being would strive to do all it takes for their lives to still be theirs. You would do so; I would too. However, we should understand that in situations like this, the silence is never worth the abuse. Nevertheless, ignorance plays a primary role in powering sexual abuse. Although it may be argued that in some abuse cases, the boy gives ‘consent’, we should not fail to acknowledge that boys are not solely responsible for their actions. Before the law and society, children are considered as a minor.
Thanks for reading this far.
What are you thoughts on this issue? Are they similar to mine or different? Are there other things you would like to add or say? Please do tell in the comment section below. I would be pleased to read your thoughts and views.